Narcissistic abuse is very traumatizing to the psyche for many reasons…
First…it always comes from a person who plays an important role in your life.
A caregiver, insignificant other, spouse, siblings, close friend etc.
You wouldn’t be bothered if it was from a stranger…or from someone you didn’t care about.
You have fully and blindly placed your trust in this person…WITHOUT a valid reason.
Second…they target your core…so they target your self-esteem, self-respect, self-confidence, they make you question your own morals, they target your vulnerabilities.
Third…it’s very harsh.
They take pleasure in your pain…it’s sadistic.
The predator I interacted with used to say something really awful to me then pet me like a cat…watching my hurt expression…that’s sadistic.
THAT’S a mind fuck!
They tell on themselves…
At first his stories from his past portrayed him up as a victim…drumming up sympathy…Awww poor man all his exes were crazy and cheated on him.
How does one person have so much bad luck…
Little did I know I was going to be crowned the next reigning ‘crazy ex’.
I’m sure there are many ‘crazy’ successors by now.
Later I realized he was just letting me know how he was going to treat me.
Pay attention!
They tell on themselves.
At first you make excuses for THEIR behavior…then you start to make excuses for your own behavior to reconcile in your mind as to what makes you stay…trying to make sense out of nonsense!
This is a slow burn process…
You are being groomed to accommodate bad behaviors and you don’t even realize it.
If YOU as a full grown adult can be groomed to accommodate other people’s bad behaviors…you can only imagine how easy it is for Child Molesters to groom a child for abuse…
It’s from someone you trust…
It’s from someone you don’t expect to harm you…
It’s from someone who says they love you…or is supposed to love you.
If you are anything like me…I was in unbelievable shock for quite a while…
Is this abuse…because it sure feels like it….
And the biggest question….
WHY?
There’s no satisfactory answer to that question…WHY?
It’s because they can and because you allowed it…and because it’s who they are.
None of these reasons are satisfactory to you because YOU are not capable to think like them.
‘Because you allowed it’ …that statement always burns me…because I felt I didn’t…intentionally.
But in actuality…you did!
Your intuition was very loud and clear…’something is not right’.
But you decided to either ignore the behavior…stay to ‘fix’ it…or stay to prove to yourself…one more time…are they really manipulating me.
They said…you are imagining things or you are overly sensitive…or worse…that didn’t happen.
Am I really imagining things…
I know you have said ALL these things to yourself.
YOU didn’t trust yourself enough to trust your own intuition.
They have created an illusion for you and you held on to it…because that was easier to do…than the alternative…YOU ARE BEING ABUSED!
Your own overly accommodatingness and kindness comes across as self unworthiness to them and they will eat that shit up and spit you out.
Yehhh…an open wound.
Let’s mangle it…
They are like sharks to blood.
Your over giving trait is a wound…you are afraid if you put up boundaries…they will leave.
If that relationship is based on such a condition…they are going to rip your soul out, stomp on your head and leave you for dead.
THAT’S a wound YOU need to heal so they can’t fuck with it.
Otherwise you become a tasty morsel for this kind.
You do this by learning to trust your own intuition and more importantly ACT ON IT!
You learn to recognize a bad situation and set up boundaries.
I know it’s hard…specially if kids are involved or if you are related by blood.
WHY…is the reason you are going to heal…so this kind of repugnant entanglement doesn’t occur again!
