I have shared quite a bit of my journey with you all through my blog.
My last few years…8 years to be exact…have been a series of unrelated unfortunate events that were actually all related.
Maybe I just wasn’t paying attention before that.
I found out Robbie was diagnosed with Non Hodgkin’s lymphoma in the same week of when I was hand picked and removed from an abusive relationship in the most harsh manner…because I wouldn’t leave by myself.
Then there were more unfortunate events that piled up after that.
Robbie was an atheist…who was always afraid of dying.
Like most non believers…he was very proud of his non beliefs…and bragged about them.
I was always a believer…
Most lower energy people don’t rise to the higher energy without a lot of effort…or a life altering event.
Most sink to even lower energies…or mostly stay neutral…I did that!
I stayed neutral…
I did what I had to…to not upset the status quo.
When Robbie was in hospital the chaplain came around everyday to pray for the sick…Robbie always refused their prayers and I always asked them to pray for me…because…apparently I was going to need it…he arrogantly didn’t.
More unfortunate events followed…
Robbie was being prepared for tests to go into a clinical trial in Columbus…that was his last resort.
I decided to go out of the country for a week since he was going to be in hospital for a couple of months.
His last barrage of test was done by a nurse named ‘Hope’ and the lady who came in from Palliative care was named ‘Angel’.
I left town…he took a turn for the bad and he was put into hospice.
Through this entire experience both sides of the families did not want to ‘impose’ on the living, the sick and then eventually the dead.
We ALL make decisions based on something…some we may live to regret.
I managed to get a WhatsApp message to him that morning…
In desperation I begged him to please wait till I came back home…he said he couldn’t.
I didn’t want Robbie to die by himself.
Frantically I tried to get in touch with him at hospice…I couldn’t get to talk to him…he was already sedated.
My last WhatsApp message to him was left unanswered.
I talked to a nurse Melissa…I begged her to be with him because he was going to die alone.
She promised me she would.
I remember her telling me ‘I am a human first before a nurse’.
He died alone…maybe with Melissa.
I’m not sure.
When I returned from my trip…I called hospice to thank Melissa.
A man picked up the phone…I told him who I was…he told me he was Father A and he said to me…’I was with Robbie’.
Robbie had asked him to pray for him before he died.
Father A told me he had never ever answered that phone before…I told him I was glad he did otherwise I would have never known of this fortunate event.
Father A performed Robbie’s last service.
I have always believed there is a higher power guiding us whether we want to believe it or not…and I have had ample reasons in the last few years to know that I am not wrong.
Robbie may never have asked for a priest if I was there…but he too didn’t want to die alone.
Ironically it was going to be a priest to help him with his arrogance, humility and hopefully gave him some peace at his transition.
Some days I think that was Robbie’s last gift of kindness to me…to not have a memory of him dying.
Some days I’m not sure if it was a gift….
Who are we to doubt….
