We are all connected in some way…either by actual physical connections or by our life experiences.
I’ve known several people who have been through the same life events that I have been through just on different time lines.
A strange sequence of events that connects us.
An abusive relationship followed by death of a loved one…or the reverse.
Seems like a double dose of grief and trauma to deal with…doesn’t it?
WTF was the Universe thinking?
I got divorced, then jumped headfirst into a Narcissistic interaction for 2.5 years.
That was succeeded by Robbie getting sick and dying.
The enormity of the grief I felt with Robbie was overwhelming.
The bigger picture…
I thought being abused and betrayed on every level inhumanely possible by some Narcissistic jackass for almost 3 years of my life was the most painful experience of my 55 years…untill…I had to care for and watch someone I loved for almost 30 years of my life struggle with Cancer and disappear right before my very eyes and then put him to rest.
THAT put EVERYTHING into perspective for me.
I had a contrast to draw from to put things into perspective.
I still had to process all the cumulative pain.
Pain does not disappear on its own.
My perspective…
There is Divine timing at play for EVERYTHING that happens to us…good, bad or ugly.
We may have to deal with it all by ourselves but we are not left alone…there is a Higher Power.
There is a method to the madness…but only YOU can find out what that means to you.
We are ALL on our own journey.
We are not responsible for other people’s brokenness…and you are certainly NOT responsible for other people’s bad decisions…but you ARE responsible for your own.
An abusive person will try to convince you that you are the reason they are abusive… because of your ‘reactions’ to their bad behaviors.
Remember your reactions are ‘normal’.
You are having a normal reaction to their abnormal behaviors.
The abusive interaction was very traumatizing for me to handle.
But Death!!!!….Death…was so much more…it negated the pain from the abuse…at least temporarily.
Our minds can only deal with one trauma at a time…so it gave me time to process…it gave me a respite.
Robbie getting sick and dying was very painful for me…still is…but it helped me realize how insignificant the abusive interaction was in the grand scheme of things.
Robbie coming back to me to take care of him showed me something very important about myself, him and our relationship…after all I did divorce the man.
He kept my head above water through a very dark time.
We were both able to truly help each other in this lifetime…and that is something incredible to hold on to.
The abusive interaction as painful and life altering as it may have been got me to where I am today.
It triggered my creative writing to help me cope…a side I didn’t even know existed…now I help others by sharing my experience.
I had no box for abuse in my brain…I had no idea how to process it.
I had to educate myself on a mental disorder so I could help myself process trauma from that type of insideous abuse.
THAT is an unsurpassable personal accomplishment.
Trying to survive, deal and heal from Narcissistic Abuse is trying to make sense out of nonsense.
I now have a box for abuse in my brain…that sits tightly closed inside a box of very valuable life lessons and knowledge.
The contrast of being with an abusive person also showed me what I cannot allow in my life ever again and also what Love is NOT.
The contrasts we can draw from our experiences are invaluable.
You don’t appreciate the light unless you have experienced the dark.
I now fully appreciate the light I see in EVERYTHING and EVERYONE and I can also recognize and acknowledge the dark…but I don’t have to participate in it.
We are all connected in some way to each other by our shared experiences.
In that too we can find comfort…
We are not alone.
