How does one know how to deal and heal from emotional abuse.
And no THAT wasn’t included in the training manual.
I gratefully learned…later…my situation was not much different from anyone else who has been through such an experience.
I knew from first response…I was not going to get ANY support.
Most people would have no relatable concept of emotional abuse…myself included…until it happened to me.
A typical response would be…’this has not been my experience with him/her/them’.
Of course…
Why would it be…………..
Didn’t we ourselves stay in this interaction for an extended period of time…years…decades in some cases in disbelief and bewilderment?
People do not relate with YOUR experiences…they ONLY relate with their own.
You would not know how to deal with a broken back…until you have to deal with a broken back.
Emotionally abusive people are ‘extra nice’ to the general public to maintain their fake façade…
They do not manipulate EVERYONE…they only manipulate intimate partners or close family members…people they need to control…to make their own world more comfortable and manageable.
If they were abusive with EVERYONE…no one would ever hang with them…
That’s not how emotional abusers operate…
They need extra extra external support…a LOT of external support to maintain their fake public façade.
On the downlow…they will set the stage in advance so no one would believe the target.
People are ALL unique…but predictable…
We ALL need to see a black eye or a broken limb or worse still…an obituary…to believe…and even then we are sceptical….’this has not been my experience with him/her/them’…they were always so nice to me.
Emotional abuse leaves no visible scars…it is a silent killer.
I needed all this to make sense…
It doesn’t…
Emotional abuse does not make any sense…
Besides…I do not look like what I have experienced…and more importantly…’they’ do not look like what we perceive or imagine an abusive person to look like.
They do not walk around with a sign on their foreheads or look or behave like Jason Voorhees or Hannibal Lecter.
We ALL judge a book by its cover…
Sometimes we judge wrong….
Mistaking a person’s breadcrumbing and manipulation tactics for love can fuck you up…
By the same token…
Mistaking a person’s kindness for weakness can also fuck you up…
We all make mistakes…it’s human…
The difference between us and narcissistic people is not the ability to do or not do wrong…it is the inability to EVER take accountability or admit to doing wrong that separates them from us…
NO ACCOUNTABILITY is a dangerous character trait…
Dealing with emotional abuse was not included in the training manual…
You have to learn as you go along…
You have to find your own way…
There is no manual…
And no one…but YOU is going to help you find your way…out!
People can only relate to the extent of their own experiences…
We judge people ONLY to the extent of our own experiences…
We ALL judge the book by it’s cover…
Sometimes we judge wrong!
