Course Study: Sleeping with the Enemy…
An interesting chain of events got me to accomplish a life long hidden ambition.
I never got the opportunity to go to college…there were always blockages that kept that from happening.
First it was financial, location, then life took over and then there were even more excuses.
My last 6 years has been my ‘University’ experience.
University of Life…I have a PHD in Life.
I don’t even consider or count that last ‘relationship’ as a relationship…I consider it School of Hard Knocks.
Accomplishing my life long need of getting a degree in something.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think it was going to be on a Mental Disorder.
I have a self fulfilled Honorary Doctorate in NPD.
I had a fantastic subject for my thesis…and an even more important precious subject as the payoff…ME.
I had to educate myself on a Mental Disorder to save my own mental health.
I can talk endlessly about NPD…my experience, the role I played and how it affected me…and more importantly…How it changed my WHOLE life.
It actually explained my WHOLE life…it was the missing piece to my puzzle.
Narcissism is the direct result of trauma not being dealt with and processed in a healthy manner. Trauma from childhood or even as an adult.
They project their trauma onto their family and partners and ruin relationships.
It is the only way they know to survive.
If trauma is not processed in a healthy manner…the abused can very easily become the abuser.
A very good example of that would be how Child Molesters are more often than not molested as children themselves.
It’s a case of monkey see monkey do.
Unfortunately…NPD is not a curable mental disorder.
It can be controlled by therapy…but that is a very very rare occurance.
You can try to straighten a dog’s tail by external forces but as soon as the external force is released it curls back up.
Through this process it is very likely that we will ask ourselves…’Am I the Narcissist?’
By the end of such a relationship you will actually mimick a lot of your Narcissistic partners behaviors…for survival…if you can’t beat them you join them….it’s human nature.
The one big determining difference between you and the Narcissist and quite possibly the realization that could save your sanity is if you ask yourself….’Would I intentionally cause harm to someone to get a desired result?’
People with NPD have no conscience, empathy or boundaries….they will do ANYTHING to get a desired result.
You are essentially engaged with a Con artist, a criminal but there are no laws governing their crime because ’emotional manipulation’ is not a crime.
Most criminals are Narcissistic… they crossed the boundaries into illegal territory…there are laws governing that.
It’s very difficult for a Narcissist to admit to being Narcissistic.
If you cannot acknowledge or admit there is a problem you cannot fix it.
Narcissistic people are unable to recognize the problem…it is who they are.
It would be like asking me to tell you what it feels like to be brown…and to try to be white instead.
It is impossible…brown is what I am…I cannot explain it…I cannot change it…it’s just who I am.
Narcissistic people are just that…they are who they are…they will not admit it..they cannot explain it…they cannot change it…and they will do ANYTHING to get a desired result…even harm a ‘loved’ one.
Zero empathy
Zero conscience
Zero accountability…makes for a very dangerous Human Being.
Sleeping with the Enemy…
