I wrote this article 2 years ago for a Narcissistic Support Forum…when I was spinning in the tornado.
I am not in that place anymore… Thankfully.
It’s a harrowing, diabolical, cruel, mind boggling, insane experience.
I managed to rescue and save my own self with my research and my own effort.
This is my experience with Trauma Bonding with the abuser.
The reason people stay in an abusive situation….Trauma Bonding.
It’s as close as one can come to the feeling of being addicted to cocaine.
You know it is going to kill you but you still find yourself participating in it.
The one who is harming you is also the only one who can make you feel better…just like a hit of cocaine.
You hope they will apologize or say or do something…anything…to make the abuse disappear…to make the pain go away…they don’t…and it doesn’t.
They give you a hit of love or kindness…you fall back in…you hope the abuse has miraculously disappeared…it hasn’t.
The hits of love or kindness keeps you coming back.
Breadcrumbs…it’s always followed with more cruelty and manipulations.
Hot and cold…hot and cold…a lot of emotional confusion.
Emotional Abusers keep you spinning out of control…THAT is how they control the situation.
It changes your brain chemistry just like cocaine.
The breadcrumbs become few and far between…you keep hoping the abuse will disappear…it doesn’t.
They don’t stop…it never ends…just gets worse…that is how the dynamic of Abuse plays out.
Most humans strive for love and trust in a relationship…reciprocity…both work towards mutual love, respect and trust…NOT with an Emotional Abuser…they prefer negative impact…they thrive on emotional chaos of their target…they live for YOUR emotions…YOUR emotions keeps their heart beating.
Ample juicy supply…..
That makes them feel powerful…they have control…negative supply is easier to achieve…it is full of emotion.
It requires very little effort.
Minimal effort is how the Narcissist exists.
The butterflies of excitement in your tummy…are now fear and anxiety…and the ONLY one who can make that go away is the one who has created that fear.
This type of psychological abuse is cruel, insidious and dangerous to your health…a slow drip of cruelty and breadcrumbs, intermittently served, to f**k with your mind…till even the breadcrumbs disappear…now there is ONLY abuse…and ONLY fear…and you can’t tell the difference any more.
You have NOW fully bonded with the Abuser.
That’s Trauma Bonding.
You don’t even realize all this…till you step out of the chaos and away from the Emotional Abuser.
RUN…far away and stay away…save yourself.
Narcissistic Abuse like cocaine is a killer…but once you figure them out and call them out on their cruel game the jig is up…they slither on away to the next target.
I’ve never tried cocaine…but I have been put through the Spin cycle of Narcissistic Hell.
