I was trained to deal with Narcissists by Narcissists.
First hand training…
I learned from the best of the worst.
The worst experience was the first one and the last one…
In between there were several more…with me jumping through hoops twisting myself into a pretzel to accommodate their never ending insecurities.
The impact of the first one still lives on…and always will because they gave birth to me.
I was able to rescue myself and put an end to my misery from the last one.
That was only 2.5 years long…it was quick and vicious…which is the ONLY reason I realized what was happening was actually happening.
It wasn’t easy to remove myself from this obvious disaster…I had help from Higher Forces…for that I am grateful.
The first one is a reminder of why I ended up where I am and the last one is a reminder of why I will never be in that place again.
The last one showed me what the first one and all the others in between were doing.
Isn’t that ironic…
Narcissists operate from their reptilian brain…
What is the reptilian brain…
It’s your survival instinct…
The basal ganglia are referred to as the reptilian or primal brain, as this structure is in control of our innate and automatic self-preserving behavior patterns, which ensure our survival and that of our species.
The reptilian brain is located deep inside the skull. It’s the home of our individual survival instincts and is responsible to deal with life threatening situations not to be technically correct.
The reptilian brain operates on emotion instead of logical and rationality. Therefore, when you’re appealing to emotion, you’re appealing to the reptilian brain. One of the easiest ways to appeal to emotion is to trigger the pain.
It controls the fight or flight response and lives by its own rules.
Narcissists operate from their reptilian…primal brain…like babies.
Babies and toddlers operate in primal energy.
They ONLY recognize primal energy…
They operate from fear and pain and discomfort and trigger the same in you.
Ever feel frustrated when a baby is crying and you don’t know why…that’s a primal response…from you and them.
You don’t know what they want and why.
Narcissists like babies trigger your primal brain…because they operate from their’s.
They put you in survival mode.
Staying in survival mode for extended periods of time is harmful to your physical health…it causes chronic health issues.
It becomes your ‘normal’…to operate in survival mode around them.
A simplistic example of being in survival mode…it’s the equivalent of constantly being in the state of the fear of being attacked by a predator.
As adults it’s almost impossible to guess their underlying motives because you cannot discern what trauma they have experienced.
Narcissists are created from their trauma.
I had to learn about trauma.
Mine and theirs…
Hence my intense research on Narcissistic abuse.
I had to do it for my own survival.
I had to save my own soul.
It’s hard to deal with someone who has no concept of what they are doing…and why.
Most know what they are doing…some do not…but they do know what they want in a desired outcome and they achieve it through manipulation.
I have no sympathy for either.
Harming people intentionally or unintentionally is ABUSE.
How they operate is painful and harmful…to YOU…but you cannot stop them.
They are dependent on your energy…but they cannot change themselves…literally like babies.
Life long experience….
Tough experience 😥
How do you change this…
You can ONLY change yourself…and that’s the good news…
You are in full control of YOURSELF.
Until you recognize this pattern in yourself…every other person you meet is going to be a narcissist.
This was my experience…
The last narcissist showed me this…he told me his wife engaged with another narcissist after him…
It didn’t register in my head…until I experienced this…myself…with him.
You are bound to draw in another narcissist until you aware of what you are experiencing.
He made me aware I was engaging with narcissists my whole life.
He did that for me…Bravo!
Healing is not a miracle potion you drink and feel better…
Healing is an on going process of knowing and understanding what you went through. Awareness is healing in itself.
PS…Facts from Google plus my own 2 valuable cents.
