When dealing with a narcissist the person who they initially portrayed themselves to be did not really exist.
It was mostly all YOU.
We love to see ourselves in others…we love in others what we love in ourselves.
They project and mirror YOU to you…that’s why you are so taken up by it.
Because you fell for you.
They are very perceptive and attentive in the beginning because they are learning and absorbing YOU.
They then project all you shared with them and all you love and how you love onto you.
The result is…WOW…it’s like loving yourself…that is AMAZING!!!
Kindred spirits…right?
WRONG!!
That façade drops in a short time…even the best fakers cannot fake for long.
Then you spend the rest of the time trying to bring back that amazing person that you met in the beginning…right?
That’s what they are hoping for…you struggling to make them feel special.
We do not think like they do…
Thank the Lord!… but that fact also makes it very difficult to grasp the mindset from which they operate.
It also does not make sense until you experience this…for the same reason…you are not capable of thinking like them.
I’ve had the ‘privilege’ to learn from the ‘best’ and have also been tested by a few who also thought they are the ‘best’…they will tell you that in so many ways.
Being tested was the most mind blowing experience.
It was like implementing what I had studied for years…I knew ALL the answers!
It was like a episode of Candid Camera happening in slow motion.
It was the same experience… repeated in the exact same way by a different person…the only difference…I had already done dress rehearsal.
If you have strong boundaries they are easy to shoosh away…they scurry away like rats…Boo!
They don’t do well with boundaries.
They will stay as long as you ‘allow’ them to…as long as you go along with their dysfunctional circus.
The minute you call them out on their bullshit…off to the next circus.
The longer you stay the harder it is to recover because they fuck with your psyche. The emotional torture that they started…you will continue yourself after they leave…they are turning you against yourself.
So…to my co-survivors in recovery if you are at the stage where you are struggling wondering what you did wrong to make them change…and where did that amazing person you met in the beginning go?
You didn’t do anything wrong…that person simply did not exist…
THAT amazing person that they were projecting and reflecting onto you was YOU…
That’s the simple truth.
