Lust or sex is not the most important ingredient in a relationship.
Respect, honor, priority and support are the ingredients that make a relationship work.
You can feel lust or have sex with a lot of people.
The foundational basis of love is respect, honor and support.
You may love as you always love… your love maybe genuine.
They too will love you like they always love…but is theirs genuine.
People look towards what they can get from you…but are you getting the same in reciprocity.
Are you putting in more effort to support the relationship.
People who authentically need and want you in their lives will also reciprocate the same.
Pay attention to what part people play within a relationship…
Are you always struggling…
Are you always stressed…
Are you always the one initiating…do they do NOTHING.
That is not a relationship…that is someone looking for what they can get from YOU…and want YOU to struggle to make them the focal point of your life by breadcrumbing you so that you give more and more…because that’s how they love.
Someone who wants to be with you will treat you as such.
Relationships don’t need to be a constant battle.
All relationships require effort…but there is difference between struggling and putting in effort into a relationship.
People who love you will not make you struggle.
They will want it to be as easy for you…they will make it easy.
That’s called dedicated effort.
If you feel you are constantly struggling you may need to look into why are you struggling and who you are struggling for.
He/she may not be worth the struggle.
Do you really want to be with a person who enjoys making you struggle, puts you in awkward situations to watch you struggle, uses silent treatments and avoidance as a punitive measure to exert control over the dynamic.
THAT is not love…THAT is a person with toxic coping skills who uses it to control the narrative in relationships by manipulation… THAT is emotional abuse.
That is soooo far on the opposite spectrum of love.
So…check yourself if that kind of attention registers as love in your brain…that too is toxic on your part.
Emotional abuse does not occur in a vacuum…it requires participants…
YOU are that participant!
YOU become the whipping post to ultimately bare all their untempered emotional instability…
Always remember…
THIS is YOUR life!
YOU are the one who is actually in control…because only YOU can make it stop!
