Toxic/dysfunctional/emotionally unbalanced people engage in back and forth, in and out, on and off dynamics.
This push and pull pattern creates a bonding wound with the partner.
This bonding wound creates confusion and powerful feelings you struggle to make sense of, especially when its served intermittently with a potent cocktail of kindness, intimacy and the silent treatment.
It’s cruel, abusive, manipulative and highly effective because it f**ks with the human psyche.
The psyche refers to all of the elements of the human mind, both conscious and subconscious.
They leverage this technique to maintain control…to keep the target bound and gagged metaphorically to them by insidious means…not by love. That’s the intention of a toxic partner.
In healthy partnerships we bond with love not manipulation and work together to resolve conflict.
But in a toxic relationship one partner will use this ‘running’ technique to avoid dealing with conflict.
Life comes with conflicts…whether we approve or disapprove…it’s just the reality.
Toxic partners repeat the same destructive patterns…they ‘run’ at the first sign of conflict using the silent treatment and will return later and pretend nothing occurred…with NO RESOLUTION.
You may think they came back because they ‘love’ you…which maybe true…but their pattern of dealing with conflict is toxic and will be repeated.
It’s a self sabotaging damaging pattern which ruins relationships.
It’s their life long pattern…it’s how they handle conflict…by avoidance.
Avoidance is not a solution nor a healthy life skill…it’s just avoidance…it resolves NOTHING.
Patterns matter…How someone deals with conflict is a good indicator of how successful or unsuccessful a relationship will be.
