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Learn…discern…rinse… repeat…

People who have been hurt find it very difficult to commit.For good reason.Once bitten twice shy.Unless they work on their pain and trauma and get rid of the baggage...without dropping it on to some one else's lap...it's going to reappear...its not going to disappear just because you want it to.It's takes a lot of effort and courage to heal.A hurt

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Living My New Reality

Integrity, Trust and Respect….

Having integrity means doing the right thing in a reliable way…even when NO one is watching. It's a personality trait that we admire, since it means a person has a moral compass that doesn't waver. It literally means having "wholeness" of character There have been many eye opening moments in my past 5 years.The biggest and the most distressing was

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Living My New Reality

Preposterous Decisions…

Now...my own story sounds so preposterous to me.With my blinders off...I can now see the WHOLE picture.Once the cognitive dissonance faded and I started seeing clearly...I wondered...how did I allow ALL this crap into my life and be ok with it. This is how...It's life long grooming...Life long grooming by family, environment, culture, country, husbands, relationships etc.My WHOLE belief system

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Living My New Reality

EVERYONE in your life serves a purpose….

Even a Narcissist serves a purpose...they are our BEST teachers.They are sent into your life to poke at your vulnerabilities.They too are soul mates sent to expose wounds for you to heal. Band-aids won't work anymore...It's major surgery.People are sent into your lives to mirror your core wounds to you.(not EVERYONE is a narcissist...some are just your plain garden variety

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Living My New Reality

Playing Mind Games….

There are no winners or losers when people resort to playing mind games in relationships...just chaos and confusion...but there are always consequences.People leverage manipulative mind games in relationships for control.Most manipulators know what they are doing...it's a tried and true technique.Very few don't realize they are doing it.They use manipulation as their coping mechanism to 'try' to bring things under

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Living My New Reality

Trauma Bonding…

I wrote this article 2 years ago for a Narcissistic Support Forum...when I was spinning in the tornado.I am not in that place anymore... Thankfully.It's a harrowing, diabolical, cruel, mind boggling, insane experience.I managed to rescue and save my own self with my research and my own effort. This is my experience with Trauma Bonding with the abuser. The reason

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Living My New Reality

Passion or Love…

Passion or Lust is a powerful emotion....one of the strongest emotions we can experience.It's a Primal emotion. Having Passion for someone is not always a positive thing.Passion can actually be quite selfish and destructive...unless it is accompanied with love and respect.Passion without love and respect...dies...quickly. People who confuse passion for love...go from one person to another trying to recreate what

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Living My New Reality

Do you feel safe in your relationships…

A safe relationship is one where you feel seen, heard, supported, valued, loved, cherished, you can be vulnerable and share your feelings. Lack of safety in a relationship occurs when you feel manipulated, gaslighted(bullshitted), minimized, dismissed, devalued, trivialize, unable to express your feelings...out of fear. A safe environment is a place where we can completely be ourselves without being judged.

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