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50 Shades of grey area….

Life is tricky...Experiences will be repeated till it registers and then some will still be repeated.Unknowingly...we make other people in charge of our sanity...Unknowingly...we give away our power to others by being too trusting.I had given away too much of my power...so much so that he used that against me to 'try' to destroy my stability...by tearing at my vulnerabilities

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Relationship leap frog….

If you can move from one relationship to another with ease without any down time...it's only possible for 2 reasons...one...you were not emotionally invested so you lost nothing...two...you are in denial.Both are life long toxic patterns.At our age it's not cute to jump from relationship to relationship.Serial dating and relationship hopping is a BIG red flag of an emotionally unavailable

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Core Beliefs….

By definition...Core beliefs are the underlying ideas we hold about ourselves, others and the world. These ideas develop during childhood as you begin to use your relationships with caregivers and your own experience to interpret the world around you.We are ALL affected by our core beliefs...covertly...our entire lives...until we become aware of them.A few simple examples....'Must be nice'Is a core

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Emotional Bankruptcy….

By definition...Emotional Bankruptcy shows up as a person who does not know how to or is not able to express, process, share, show, accept, vocalize and/or deal with their emotions. Humans cannot thrive in an emotional void. We share our emotions with each other...that's what is at the foundation of all relationships.Sharing emotions.Emotionally abusive people are emotionally bankrupt people who

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Call a Spade a Spade…

Priorities and Self awareness...Emotionally abusive people lack self awareness.They do things in the way that they do them because it works for them.Your comfort or your well-being is not on their list of priorities.Trying to explain things to them or waiting for them to realize they are hurting you by the way they operate or treat you...is redundant.They DON'T care!They

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Red Flags…

The most difficult part of my healing process was to forgive myself for not leaving despite the many red flags...BIG red banners.The longer we stay in these types of relationships the longer and harder the recovery.The deeper the wound the longer the healing process.In the first month I experienced a very disturbing 'first' red flag...the man was stuck in a

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Peace of Mind… Priceless!

Survival on bare essentials with no emotional needs fulfilled and with no opportunity to voice out needs.THAT was my childhood (and maybe the childhood experience of many others from my culture and my generation)My only basic requirement even at 5 was peace of mind and safety.It was a tough commodity to come by with 6 adults living in a one

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Players… Overconfident or Insecure….

Male or female...People who play around with people's hearts and lives...don't do it because they are 'something' special...they do it because of very deep insecurities within themselves.Insecurities that they might not even know exists...because it is serving a purpose.Such people use looks, charm, money, power, comedy etc in lieu of real character traits like loyalty, dependability, commitment, honestly, integrity etc.Who

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The Simple Truth….

When dealing with a narcissist the person who they initially portrayed themselves to be did not really exist.It was mostly all YOU. We love to see ourselves in others...we love in others what we love in ourselves.They project and mirror YOU to you...that's why you are so taken up by it.Because you fell for you.They are very perceptive and attentive

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Home Alone…or Never Alone….

I was always afraid of being alone and most things.I inherited that fear from both parents and perhaps they did from theirs. They lived in fear of life around them.All my life I attached myself to people...so I never really felt it...but that became a reality when I got divorced...I was alone.So again...I attached myself to someone...who was going to

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