Not your Monkey🐒
When a man starts getting ‘over familiar’ after 1 or 2 days of texting or meeting up…or starts calling you ‘my lady’…’my woman’ etc or starts making other ‘possessive’ remarks…or future faking fancy trips to exotic places(yes they do that😅) or worse…pushing a sexual agenda on you prematurely 🤔😠
Love you long time…ALREADY? 🙃😉😂
1st…ALL THAT ⏫️are BIG RED FLAGS 🚩🚩🚩
He’s testing your boundaries.
Over familiarity…and very quickly…is a red flag of SO MANY toxic traits.
Red flags are not merely decorative 🙄 they serve a purpose.
***Don’t be flattered…it’s their pattern of engagement***
He’s betting on your ‘porous boundaries’ to infiltrate your psyche.
And 2nd he could be continuing where he left off in his last relationship.
This man had not finished with his last relationship(s)…because he hasn’t given himself space to get over with whatever the fuck.
This could be YOU behaving in this way too…so check yourself.
We ALL do that to a certain extent when we jump from relationship to relationship.
The brain is pattern seeking and this is a comfortable pattern we can get stuck in.
By the same token…when you have disagreements in an already existing relationship you will notice that you take off from where you left off the last time…zero to 100 in 30 seconds.
That’s the reason why abusive relationships can ONLY accelerate…each ‘jam session’ you just takes off from where you left off the last time…and to be more ‘effective’ it has to accelerate.
I was told in the first 2 weeks of the abusive shitshow…when he was caught in a lie…’you ALWAYS do this to me’.
I told the person…there has not been an ALWAYS…I just met you…he seemed dazed and confused…he wasn’t talking about me or to me…but his brain very quickly took him there…I’ve had lot’s of those dazed and confused moments with that person…where I realized he was not talking to me or about me.
Tough to deal with delusions and the delusional and try to make sense of it…because it’s not about YOU!
His delusions were not my responsibility…he came fully locked and loaded with them.
REMEMBER…
You really don’t have to fix what you didn’t break…so don’t claim ownership of that junk.
You are ONLY responsible for taking out your own garbage.
Family, friends or intimate relationships…SAME!
Pay attention to what people are saying and do not disregard or dismiss it…they are ‘telling’ you something.
Pay attention to how ‘over familiar’ people get really quickly.
They are NOT dealing with YOU…they are still dealing with their last partner…or last 2 or 3.
THAT’S called carrying your emotional garbage forward.
It’s a BIG red flag❌️🚩⚠️
In my case…I had the misfortune of dealing with a person who gathered victims in a continuum recycling them whenever possible…with me still in the chutney🤢🤮
Also a ‘comfortable’ pattern…for THEM…not for YOU!
You may learn lessons from previous relationships…but the WHOLE purpose is to implement what you have learned.
Our brain will try very hard to fall back into an old pattern…it’s more comfortable there.
I was dealing with ALL their past garbage wrapped up in a BIG fucking narcissistic bow 🎀 and I was repeating my own garbage patterns of staying ‘put’ with these type of people.☠️☠️☠️
My experience can now be YOUR survival guide.
ALWAYS choose your own monkey🐒
