How does one know how to deal and heal from emotional abuse.
And no that wasn’t included in the training manual.
I gratefully learned…later…my situation was not much different from anyone else who has been through such an experience.
I knew from first response…I was not going to get any support.
Most people would have no concept of emotional abuse… myself included…until it happened to me.
A typical response would be…’this has not been my experience with him/her/them’.
Of course…why would it be…didn’t we ourselves stay in this interaction for an extended period of time in disbelief and bewilderment?
People do not relate with YOUR experiences…they only relate with their own.
Emotionally abusive people are ‘extra nice’ to the general public to maintain their façade…they don’t manipulate EVERYONE…they only manipulate partners or close family members…people they need to control.
People are all unique but predictable…we all need to see a black eye or a broken limb or worse still…an obituary…to believe…and even then we are sceptical….’this has not been my experience with him/her/them’.
Emotional abuse leaves no visible scars…it is a silent killer.
I did what ALL survivors do…I did the research…a lot of research…because I was in confusion and disbelief myself.
I needed all this to make sense…it didn’t…abuse does not make sense.
Besides…I do not look like what I have experienced…and more importantly…’they’ do not look like what we perceive or imagine an abusive person to look like.
They don’t walk around with a sign on their foreheads or look or behave like Jason or Hannibal Lecter.
I stuck to support forums and YouTube for knowledge, validation and support.
There were 1000s and 1000s who had gone through the exact same experience as I did.
WOW…What a shocker!!!
Dealing with abuse was not included in the training manual.
*** It is of the utmost importance to find support from people who have had the same experience as you…or else you will be further traumatized by people’s nonchalance ***
I started writing on support forums to share my experience because I realized sharing the minutiae of our experiences is what helps others…as they had helped me.
I started writing as a means of survival…but now I write because I know I help those who need to hear that it’s a shared experience.
People can only relate to the extent of their own experiences.
I consider myself lucky…I am able to articulate my thoughts, my feelings and my experiences and put them into words.
It’s been a painful, amazing, crazy, soul stretching experience.
I learned what is family, who are friends and what and who really holds a permanent place in your life and who is your greatest supporter…
Yes…it’s YOU.
YOU are your own greatest supporter.
I did it my way….
