Some people may have been through traumatic events as children that scarred them for life.
Some may have gone through something very painful as adults that has altered their perception of relationships.
We should feel compassion and empathy for the people who have hurt us because they were just acting out the pain that was inside them…pain that was caused to them.
But you cannot feel compassion or empathy for another if you don’t feel it for yourself…first.
Betrayal is not always on a sexual level.
Emotional infidelity is far more damaging to a relationship than sexual infidelity.
Lies are the ultimate betrayal in a relationship.
When you put your life and trust into the hands of another human…you don’t expect to be betrayed.
It tears away at your trust, self-esteem, your dignity…it tears away at your core…it changes your perception of relationships.
Pain if not transmuted or alchemized into compassion, empathy, love or forgiveness will come out as pain to the next person we deal with.
People who were betrayed by their significant other will most likely betray the next person they deal with if they have not processed their pain correctly.
Hopping from one person to another is pollinating your pain…it is NOT processing your pain.
It is irresponsible to place your pain onto someone else’s lap.
A lot of people think that if they get sufficient validation from others it will negate the betrayal…or the guilt for causing the betrayal to another…IT DOES NOT!
A person’s sense of guilt relates to their moral code.
Guilt for causing the betrayal has to be processed…it ain’t going nowhere by itself…you can surpress it as long as you choose to…or deny it…but it ain’t going nowhere.
Trust and respect is a precious commodity…it should be not given away freely.
Trust and respect should be earned.
Losing trust and respect in someone is often final.
Trying to forgive another is a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment of a person who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.
Trying to forgive or find compassion for someone who has betrayed you it a HUGE undertaking.
It requires a lot of courage and effort…and it is not for the faint of heart.
Trying to forgive yourself for allowing youtself to be part of a betrayal is probably one of the hardest obstacles to overcome… because there are always plenty of red flags that you chose to ignore.
You have betrayed you own self at that point.
Processing betrayal, guilt and forgiveness…does not happen organically…ALL require immense courage and effort to process.
Hurt people hurt people.
