Finding my own sense of Healthy Narcissism within myself was actually what saved me from the Narcissistically abusive situation I had gotten myself involved in.
We all need a dose of healthy Narcissism within self to protect ourselves.
Narcissism is a spectrum…
Healthy Narcissism…to unhealthy Narcissism…to NPD to Psychopath.
I have experienced almost the whole spectrum in relationships.
I will stop at NPD.
And they do get steadily worse as you get groomed to accept and tolerate more and more.
Hence the phenomenon of slow brainwashing in Cults.
A Narcissistic situationshit is a Cult…Party of two.
Usually two main participants…but you will soon discover there are many other unaware members in the same Cult…surrounding the Narcissist.
All groomed to stroke the Narcissists fragile broken Ego.
It’s a revolving door…one is instantly replaced with another with no down time.
They cannot survive without a constant supply of attention.
Instant gratification is a requirement.
These participants are called the ‘harem’.
The ‘harem’ is used for Narcissistic Supply.
They are used on an as needed basis by the Narcissist.
The ‘harem’ consists of a bunch of unaware exes who are willing to participate and re-engage with him and other unaware random people…basically anyone who is willing to stroke their ego.
A Narcissist thrives on attention…negative or positive does not matter…it is their life line…it is what they need to survive…it is akin to the air we breathe to survive.
Negative attention is just as desirable if not more desirable because it is more potent and full of emotion.
It makes the Narcissist feel so much more important.
I experienced this WHOLE ugly phenomenon.
I was constantly pushed aside and replaced with another and then he would return for another go around.
I did it 9 times in 2.5 years until I caught on to his cruel insideous game.
Unaware…I was on a Narcissistic Merry-go-round.
I was kept distracted with his constant self created chaos so he could get his ego stroked elsewhere.
Spin cycle of Narcissistic Hell.
They keep the situationshit in first gear and reverse.
If you were non compliant…you are pushed off the horse and replaced by another…and the Merry-go-round continued…just as a reminder to you…you are dispensable, unimportant and unnecessary…till he comes back around for you again.
Emotional abuse is a mind fuck to your psyche.
They keep everyone in the chase stage. People in the chase stage tend to people please…they will do their best to please the Narcissist….BINGO!!!
Mission accomplished!!!!
We are ALL just unaware pawns in their game of chess.
When I figured out and caught on to his cruel game!!! *********CHECKMATE**********
**********GAME OVER*********
But that was a dangerous part of the game I engaged in.
You cannot call a Narcissist out on their game and think it is going to end well.
He tried to take away my livelihood and get me arrested for close to a year to compromise my freedom, my income and my stability.
He tried to file a restraining order against me as an intimidating control tactic…for ‘stalking’.
I was on YouTube doing research on NPD…and he was on YouTube stalking me…isn’t that ironic.
He had copies of all my comments on Narcissism videos…1000s and 1000s of them.
I had changed my user names multiple times to get rid of him but he still continued tracking me.
He presented this as evidence against himself in court…duh!!
He tried his best Narcissistic manoeuvres on the wrong person…The Judge.
Jumping up and down yelling trying to get me arrested.
Jails and prisons are full of Narcissists.
The Judge laughed at him and sent us both home.
Shamelessly and true to Narcissistic nature he tried to hoover me…he is blocked for good reason.
NO CONTACT with such a creature is the only way to thwart future Narcissistic hoover attempts…and you need to set up very strong uncrossable, unbreakable boundaries for yourself.
What I share is only 10% of my story…the manipulation was daily and on going…but clarity only comes with knowledge of NPD and in hindsight.
It’s mind boggling the extent they will go to manipulate you.
Surviving and healing from Narcissistic Abuse requires you to try to make sense out of nonsense.
They try to destroy your mind, body, soul, self respect and dignity.
Their emotional abuse is so insideous and dangerous it makes you physically and emotionally ill.
It is as close as you will come to Hell here in Earth.
Besides the actual experience being horrendous…the healing process is long, arduous and very painful…but very necessary and life altering.
Narcissists have the emotional maturity and integrity of a toddler but inflict harm like an adult…THAT is a very dangerous combination.
It’s like handing a weapon to a toddler…and hoping for the best.
Courage…
It took a great deal of courage to overcome this frightful ordeal.
The courage was mine…but it was totally powered by a Divine Force.
I was so afraid to be ‘alone’ I was sent a Human Predator Parasite to show me how strong I really am.
I had to protect myself from him…by myself…for myself…all ALONE.
I am not afraid of being ‘alone’ anymore.
My own sense of Healthy Narcissism was finally triggered within myself to empower me to protect myself against the Narcissist and show me exactly what I was dealing with.
Isn’t that ironic.
