I know what I write about makes EVERYONE squirm in their seats and perhaps for different reasons.
Between my Blog, Instagram and FB I know I reach a lot of people who resonate with me in one way or another.
People feel vulnerable or exposed to respond directly on my posts but they do message me and let me know what I write about has helped them or they send it to someone who needs to hear it.
I am aware people who have NOT been through a Narcissistic or any abusive relationship are NOT able to resonate with some of what I write about.
It would be like asking a poor person if he knew what being rich feels like…or vice versa.
It’s not an experience they can resonate with…they can imagine or make up some shit but they truly would not have anything in their experience bank to draw from.
People who have not been through such an experience are usually the ones who say inconsiderate or thoughtless things like…’why are you struggling for so long’ or ‘didn’t this happen to you last year’ or ‘just forget about it’…as if healing from abuse, grief or trauma is subject to time lapse or a quick request.
That’s the worse possible reaction to hear…it actually retraumatizes the person…because now, not only are they struggling to deal and heal but now you have put a time crunch on them based on YOUR insensitive statements.
I’m pretty sure if that was so easy we would ALL will ourselves into healing the next morning.
It’s a learning experience…a process…for those who are healing from trauma and also well meaning people around us.
I had to learn to be patient with the impatience and unawareness that I received from others who have not been through an Abusive experience.
People who have been through a traumatic experience have a different set of questions or concerns than people who have not.
My process…
I had to change how I perceived my ENTIRE life in order for me to deal with and heal from the last few years.
That was the ONLY way I was going to get through it.
It took a great deal of effort to change my foundation of over 55 years.
I had to essentially change my DNA.
A very supportive friend told me ‘I wish you didn’t go through this’.
I told her ‘Me too…but then what the f**k would I write about?’
So I’m grateful and fortunate to be able to find the words to share my perspective BECAUSE I have been through such an experience.
Being an unaware Empathetic Soul was why I got targeted.
He actually declared this to me ‘you are so kind and loving some man out there is going to take advantage of you’…and then he did.
Through my healing journey I found out being an Empathetic Soul is not a weakness…it is actually my Super Power.
Once aware of THAT fact there is no getting targeted again because I’m ‘extra kind’.
Once you are aware of ANY feature within yourself it is impossible to ignore or deny it any more.
Unless you are delusional…as Narcissists are.
They can ONLY live with themselves because they are delusional and live in denial.
Narcissistic abusers target empathetic people or people at vulnerable times of their lives…like after a breakup or divorce or death in the family…they also target people who have been sexually abused.
They are very perceptive…they hone in onto your vulnerabilities and poke them to death in their abuse process.
People who take advantage of vulnerable souls are cowards and bullies with no Integrity within themselves.
Did anyone give them a time limit on being abusive? No?
So why is there a time limit on healing from the abuse?
People’s past trauma and upbringing is what makes them abusive…but that’s not YOUR problem.
They will try to make it yours.
You cannot MAKE someone abusive…it is already within them.
We ALL have to deal with consequences of our actions and reactions.
And there ALWAYS are consequences.
My conclusion…
If I didn’t break it…I don’t need to fix it.
Not my monkey not my circus.
I am responsible for my own healing in the way I know how…
My healing…my responsibility…my timeline.
