NPD is a text book mental disorder.
They ALL use the same universal patterns of abuse.
*The Runner and Chaser game*
(This is the foundation of their disorder, this is how the game is played)
Asserting dominance in the relationship in a negative way starts very early on.
They will hurt you just to provoke a reaction to reassure themselves that you ‘still care’.
They figure…if they have the power to hurt you…and you stay…they then are in control of the you and the situation.
If they push you away just to prove to themselves that you will come back to validate their insecurities…and you make the mistake of coming back…you are now in the spin cycle of Narcissistic Hell…and this is just the beginning of a very painful experience.
Next they will provoke a huge painful episode usually involving a third person or another shitty reason…physically push you away and run when you make them accountable for their behaviors…and they disappear…leaving you with unexplained questions.
This is how the Runner is born.
Your natural tendency as a ‘normal’ person will be to seek answers…you will pursue the person trying to find a solution to the problem because that is what people in ‘relationships’ should do…try to resolve conflicts.
This is how the Chaser is born.
You will soon realize…you are the only one in a ‘relationship’…the other person is in a game…a cat and hurt mouse game…the more hurt you are…the more you will chase for answers.
That is what a Narcissist lives for…The Chase…the greater the hurt…the greater the chase…the greater the ‘importance’ the Narcissist registers in his brain.
They have no concept of relationships or loyalty or fidelity…they pretend they do and talk about it like they do…but in reality…zilch… nada…they have their own variation of these concepts warped to satisfy their own needs.
There is quite a bit of bread crumbing in between to keep the person coming back…baiting…keeps their game alive.
Remember these people are very charming and have a lot of good qualities that attracted you to them to begin with…but their dark side out weighs their light side…and THAT is the imbalance in them.
They will keep the relationship in The Chase stage…by toggling in and out of it…THAT is where they get their rocks off…their greatest high.
But where there is a high…there is a low.
People who leverage the push and pull dynamic in relationships have NOTHING to bring to the table except emotional manipulation.
They view a ‘relationship’ as a constant competition or power struggle…they also envy their partners.
They are Sadistic.
The Narcissist receives pleasure from watching the other struggle…and the other person is constantly kept struggling by the Narcissist for his pleasure.
This dynamic usually plays out for several cycles until the Chaser catches on to their cruel game.
The Runner usually senses the jig is up, creates another chaotic cruel discard and immediately slithers on to his next prey…leaving the Chaser with a bag full of painful memories and rotten emotional baggage… multiplied by the number of discard cycles or years of the ‘relationship’.
The Runner spends his whole life running away from his problems.
They are running away from their own selves…they are afraid of their own shadow.
They just run from one problem to another.
It’s a cycle they are stuck in…it’s the Narcissistic loop of poop.
The game usually ends right there for the Chaser(if they don’t return for another cycle)
The Narcissist does not skip a beat and goes on to his next target…same game…different person.
*Dancing with the Devil*
You are Awesome Ms Paula Pearl. God Bless.