That is probably the hardest and also the most brave and courageous thing you will ever have to do for yourself.
Emotionally manipulative people do not give closure.
Situations with them never end well…and that’s the intention.
There is a very dysfunctional and disturbing intention behind that maneuver.
First…they are cowards so they literally run away…and second and more importantly when there is no closure they think there is an open door at their convenience.
They try to leave situations incomplete so that they can revisit it at a later date when they are jonesing and prowling around for attention.
They have different techniques to leaving situations open ended…disappearing…silent treatments…denial…lying… triangulation…they have a hat full of tricks to achieve that end…ALL painfully dysfunctional…and ALL painfully detrimental to your emotional well-being.
For me the cruel blatant abuse and total dismissal of my personal value was closure enough…but I still had to process those painful emotions.
And that is no small task and not for the faint of heart.
It takes an enormous amount of courage, time and effort to accomplish that.
So…do we really need someone to admit to us the harm they caused for us to feel better?
You still would have to process the harmful repercussions that were caused to you in the same way with or without the apology.
Would it be a nice gesture…sure it would…it might even be helpful if the approach and apology were genuine and authentic…
But is it necessary…
Absolutely NOT!
First…You are NEVER going to get an apology from an emotional manipulator…unless it benefits them…so fuck that.
Second…remove yourself from the harmful situation/people/person.
Third…change your revolving door policy to a one way policy…when they leave…there’s no revolving back.
And finally…and the MOST important…NEVER allow ANYONE normalize disrespecting you…twice.
One and done.
If you let them get away with it once…they will do it again.
That’s the nature of an emotional manipulator…they are repeat offenders.
***Disrespect should be closure enough***
Closure without an apology….
Whoever out there who have had to find closure for yourself without an apology…be proud of yourself for what you have accomplished.
That’s badassssss…because it’s hard to do.
The truth always speaks louder and is more damaging than any lies.
I brought a pen to a gun fight and managed to not only not get shot but also managed to survive and thrive and help bunches of others along the way.
That’s badassssss….
