By definition…
Closure means finality.
A letting go of what once was. Finding closure implies a complete acceptance of what has happened and an honoring of the transition away from what’s finished to something new.
Closure is knowing the reason a relationship was terminated and no longer feeling emotional attachment or pain, thereby allowing for the establishment of new and healthy relationships.
A healthy end to relationships is when both parties give closure to that relationship and to each other
It is NOT a requirement…but it is the virtuous way to end a partnership.
Both my marital relationships were long term relationships… that ended relatively amicably for both parties…with closure.
When there is no closure in a relationship you have to find your own.
There are several reasons whereby closure is not obtained.
Sudden death of a partner is one.
Sometimes when death is from a chronic long term ailment no closure is received if one or both parties are in denial…or refuse to acknowledge the unpreventable end.
Toxic partners like Narcissists just abandon relationships…for an insidious purpose.
They do it so they can come back around to hoover when they are jonesing for attention.
It’s a vicious never ending cycle for them…they keep all their exes in the ‘friend’ zone to revisit on an as needed basis…regardless if the exes are in new relationships or married.
‘Technicalities’ like that are not sufficient boundaries to keep away a Narcissistic hoover attempt…when desperate for attention.
In ALL cases the human mind needs to find closure to wrap things up emotionally.
I had to find my own closure X 2.
One died unable or unwilling to talk about the inevitable end and…the other….well I just explained how Narcissists exit relationships.
They also make it a horrific exit…for dramatic effects and because it causes a lot of emotional upheaval for the partner.
It is a tried and true technique… because it works on the human psyche.
When there’s unfinished business the door is always left ajar.
Narcissists think THAT can guarantee a future ‘revisit’…when they come back around and pretend NOTHING occured.
The only way to find your own closure…is to look at the experience from a different perspective.
There is a blessing in EVERYTHING that we experience…good, bad or ugly.
Blessings in disguise…is what we have to look for.
Robbie’s death was a tough one…I’m still trying to mentally digest that one.
We were able to be each other’s Angels in this lifetime.
That was my blessing…one at a very great loss.
The other one was easier.
That one was a True blessing.
Getting rid of toxicity from my life…even though I went down kicking and screaming while still living in denial.
I got rid of EVERY toxic energy from my life, held on to the good stuff and the knowledge gained from the lessons learned and started my own Blog…where I could share my hard earned knowledge with those who need to hear it.
A blessing in disguise…indeed!
My New Life is on a different trajectory and toxicity free.
A True blessing!!
Changing your perspective and looking at the bigger picture is the magical tool to help with self closure.
With my research and acknowledging my own part in that dynamic I was able to give myself closure.
It took a lot of mental fortitude on my part.
I was able to slam that fucking door shut!!!
Closure…
It is not a requirement…
It is part of the unwritten rules of engagement when you have enough integrity within yourself to fight fair and value and care enough for the emotional wellbeing of the people who have crossed your paths in this Lifetime…regardless of the outcome.
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