At first I kicked myself for not leaving in the first month when the toxic toddler appeared and presented me with the first HUGE red flag…I could have saved myself so much grief…and wasted time.
I was not aware of red flags at that time…I saw them as birthday balloons…something I could pop and hoped that would be followed by cake.
I’m here to let you know that regret/grief/anger/resentment is a normal response after such an inhumane fucked up experience…you would not be human if you didn’t feel ALL those things.
I didn’t believe in abandoning people…PERIOD!
Isn’t that what a partnership is all about?
WRONG…depends on how deep the issues really are.
Some issues are not yours to take on as your own.
Don’t take on a debt you did not owe.
NOT your job to try to teach a full grown person basic human decency…that was his Mommy’s job…that and many other ships have done sailed.
Present moment…
Would I have preferred to not have spent the next 2 plus years in sheer emotional hell…sure…but having done that and then the next few years recuperating from extreme emotional and physical side effects of being in an emotionally abusive interaction…it now registers differently.
‘Dodging the bullet’…Would be an understatement!
I literally saved my own life by abandoning this situation.
Now that all that is behind me…I would not change a damn thing.
It’s absolutely not a waste of time when it comes to our personal growth…and rescuing one’s own self.
I had to grow up real quick.
Hindsight is an amazing teaching tool.
Also…I recognize manipulative toddler behaviors from actual toddlers at the daycare I work at.
An actual toddler does not know better…but it’s a technique they use to get what they want…to see how far they can ride you.
Grown arse toddlers also do it to get what they want…but they know better.
They do it with the intention of getting what they want regardless of you or how it makes you feel.
THAT is considered reckless behaviors.
THAT is the mindset from which criminals operate.
Our integrity is the ONLY trait that stops us from being a criminal.
You show people how to treat you…and when you accommodate their bad behaviors…you are condoning and making allowances for them to repeat those behaviors.
Your faulty belief of trying to ‘help’ EVERYONE regardless of reckless behaviors being presented over and over is just that…a faulty belief system.
There are psychiatrists…professionals just for that purpose.
Really…you are off the hook!
Learning to protect yourself and disengage before they cause further emotional damage is YOUR obligation to yourself.
If you tolerate reckless behaviors from others…you are self-abandoning yourself in this process…you are sacrificing your own mental peace and wellbeing and sanity for another.
Being kind and caring is a virtue…use it on yourself…first.
You don’t have to use that virtue on EVERYONE you meet…regardless if they deserve it or not.
Jesus applied for that job and got it…YOU are off the hook!
THAT one 2 year interaction explained my WHOLE life…changed my WHOLE life…and me abandoning the situation saved my WHOLE Life.
THAT awareness is not retractable, refundable or tradeable…
I wouldn’t trade it for ANYTHING!
