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Living My New Reality

Playing Mind Games….

There are no winners or losers when people resort to playing mind games in relationships...just chaos and confusion...but there are always consequences.People leverage manipulative mind games in relationships for control.Most manipulators know what they are doing...it's a tried and true technique.Very few don't realize they are doing it.They use manipulation as their coping mechanism to 'try' to bring things under

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Living My New Reality

Trauma Bonding…

I wrote this article 2 years ago for a Narcissistic Support Forum...when I was spinning in the tornado.I am not in that place anymore... Thankfully.It's a harrowing, diabolical, cruel, mind boggling, insane experience.I managed to rescue and save my own self with my research and my own effort. This is my experience with Trauma Bonding with the abuser. The reason

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Living My New Reality

Passion or Love…

Passion or Lust is a powerful emotion....one of the strongest emotions we can experience.It's a Primal emotion. Having Passion for someone is not always a positive thing.Passion can actually be quite selfish and destructive...unless it is accompanied with love and respect.Passion without love and respect...dies...quickly. People who confuse passion for love...go from one person to another trying to recreate what

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Living My New Reality

Do you feel safe in your relationships…

A safe relationship is one where you feel seen, heard, supported, valued, loved, cherished, you can be vulnerable and share your feelings. Lack of safety in a relationship occurs when you feel manipulated, gaslighted(bullshitted), minimized, dismissed, devalued, trivialize, unable to express your feelings...out of fear. A safe environment is a place where we can completely be ourselves without being judged.

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black and white people bar men
Living My New Reality

How we handle conflict…

You see peoples true self during conflict or adversity. How well people handle conflict will let you know how successful a partnership will be. If they are avoidant and dismissive and blame you for everything...or run away...that's how life is going to be with this person...don't expect that things will be better next time around...it won't. If they they have

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Living My New Reality

Know your worth…

NO ONE can take that away from you. Don't allow your experiences to define you or take away your power or your worth. Not realizing there were people around me who would take advantage of my kindness...I compromised myself.I allowed someone to rattle my stability. I felt 'victimized' and 'traumatized' when I realized the situation and the kind of person

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Living My New Reality

Hurt people hurt people…

Some people may have been through traumatic events as children that scarred them for life.Some may have gone through something very painful as adults that has altered their perception of relationships. We should feel compassion and empathy for the people who have hurt us because they were just acting out the pain that was inside them...pain that was caused to

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Living My New Reality

Dancing with the Devil…

NPD is a text book mental disorder.They ALL use the same universal patterns of abuse. *The Runner and Chaser game*(This is the foundation of their disorder, this is how the game is played) Asserting dominance in the relationship in a negative way starts very early on.They will hurt you just to provoke a reaction to reassure themselves that you 'still

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Living My New Reality

Integrity…

Integrity....by definition. ***Having integrity means doing the right thing in a reliable way. It's a personality trait that we admire, since it means a person has a moral compass that doesn't waver. It literally means having "wholeness" of character, just as an integer is a "whole number" with no fractions*** When you live in integrity you live in peace.Choose integrity at every

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