Living My New Reality
The word scapegoating is defined as, “the act or practice of assigning blame or failure to another so as to deflect attention or responsibility away from oneself.” Aka...Denial.In toxic relationships scapegoating is a way to live in denial of one's own faults or failures.Passing the buck to avoid responsibility or accountability for one's own actions.A scapegoat is picked by personality
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By definition...Personal experiences that a person needs to deal with or work on that have not been dealt with or completed. Emotional tasks that have been avoided because of feared emotional or interpersonal repercussions.People who have been hurt find it very difficult to commit.For good reason. Once bitten twice shy.Unless they work on their pain and trauma and get rid
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Most people can handle the truth.Once you find yourself hiding the truth...you have to ask yourself why?Do you have something to hide?Are you afraid?Do you not care if the truth is found out...or is it that you care too much?Most people can handle most truths.The problem occurs when they find out the truth by themselves.Now it's a lie...Lying by omission
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A partner controlling and manipulating you into doing what they want ALL the time is not considered support or compromise.Giving props and accolades to a partner who does something once in a while that they are supposed to be doing in the first place is enabling undesirable behaviors...and then patting them on the back for it.A good intentioned person will
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Toxic/dysfunctional/emotionally unbalanced people engage in back and forth, in and out, on and off dynamics.This push and pull pattern creates a bonding wound with the partner.This bonding wound creates confusion and powerful feelings you struggle to make sense of, especially when its served intermittently with a potent cocktail of kindness, intimacy and the silent treatment.It's cruel, abusive, manipulative and highly
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People will show you exactly what/who is important to them and what/who they are willing to make time for.People will ALWAYS make time for what is important to themselves.DON'T make excuses, deny, disregard or ignore those decisions.THAT is a very clear indication of how you stack up on their totem pole of priorities.How people prioritize you is a good gauge
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The act of using the hands clumsily while doing or handling something.People who keep fumbling around you...might keep dropping that ball.If people keep fumbling around you...they don't know how to handle you...they don't need to be there.People who are supposed to be there won't fumble and stumble around in the dark like a blind person.It's not your job to fix
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Narcissists talk a big talk...with no actions to match.They 'talk' about their good qualities...but you will find out that those are expectations they have of YOU...and they are just letting you that this is what they expect from YOU.Loyalty, fidelity, respect, honesty etc are discussed...but that's what they expect from YOU.They have NONE of those qualities.Just because someone says 'I'm
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Our scars are a reminder of our healed wounds...Our hard earned lessons.The tougher the lesson the deeper the wound the longer it took for the scar to form.I don't want to forget those lessons.I wear them like a badge of honor to remind myself of how far I've come.Our heart has a different memory capacity as compared to our mind.The
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Emotionally abusive people have a hat full of tricks...tried and true tricks...they use them repetitively and often...because they work.'Let's be friends'...It's part of their abusive arsenal...another cruel trick.If you agree...they will then use you on an as needed basis.You may think they are giving the situationshit another try...they are absolutely NOT.It's just a trap...an abuse death trap.You have just agreed
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