Living My New Reality

Inconsistent Toxic Partners…

When you first meet some one and they seem so easy and non interfering...you think...WOW...this person is so laid back.2 months later you find out laid back is actually emotionally lazy and negligent...non interfering is actually uncaring...and easy means they will easily take from you and offer breadcrumbs in return. When you meet someone who is very childish and silly...you

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Living My New Reality

Ego…

An inflated Ego comes from a place of very deep insecurities.We all have Ego...it is a barometer of our self worth. We all go through stages where our Ego gets wounded...we can go in and out of those stages throughout our life...it is a normal human condition. But some people live in Ego...it is their permanent residence...mostly because of some

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Living My New Reality

Communication…

It's the foundation of any relationship.If someone is not open to listening to you...they are not good communicators. If they shut you down everytime you say something they are not good communicators. If they rage at you to intimidate you when they don't agree with you...they are not good communicators. If their words don't match their actions and if they

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Living My New Reality

Trying to change peoples inherent qualities…….

Dishonesty, deception, egocentric, arrogance, selfishness, apathy, unreliability, disloyalty, rage, etc are examples of negative inherent qualities. If you try to force someone whose inherent quality is lying and cheating...to stop lying and cheating and treat you with respect...that's when you just got the shovel out to dig yourself your own grave. You cannot force some one to change their inherent

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Living My New Reality

Shadows….

Nobody is all light or all shadow.We ALL have both.We are here to learn from our shadow sides. Shadow is defined as the unconscious or disowned side of your personality. Our shadow sides are triggered by certain people...those are the people we learn from .They are sent to us to help us identify the shadow by what they trigger in

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Living My New Reality

Love….

You can change and transmute fear, anger, resentment, pain into some thing else...but you cannot change love into anything else. Love stays love...because we can't attach conditions to love. If you love someone those feelings don't go away .Love cannot be changed into hate...they are mutually exclusive...they both cannot exist at the same timeThe opposite of love is not hate

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Flip side of the same coin…

Codependency.....trying to find an outside solution to an internal problem.People become codependent by their up bringing, by being in long term marriages...or being in controlling or dysfunctional relationships.As children we are naturally codependent on our parents...but in an unhealthy parent child dynamic the parent is codependent on the child...for constant attention and validation.These kind of children usually end up in

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Suppressed emotions…

Suppressing emotions over a lifetime turns our minds into a toxic self imprisonment. This behavior is perpetuated in relationships.People who are unable to feel, express or convey their emotions will suppress them out of necessity, fear of expression or habit for self preservation. This may be a learned behavior as a child...usually with parents who feel and speak for the

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How we grieve….

The better question would be... what do we grieve?Do you know what you have allowed yourself to grieve over your lifetime? We associate grief with death.In actuality through our lifetime we go through many types of loss that go unprocessed.Sickness, divorce, breakups, leaving one's country, losing pets, losing jobs, losing friendships etc are all a type of loss.Grief is grief

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My 2 Pains….

My comparison of the 2 types of pain I had to face. Losing Robbie was absolutely tragic and heart breaking.We were a part of each other's life for almost 30 years. Getting over the abusive relationship was traumatizing and took a lot of intentional effort on my part to overcome. Both grief...both pain...but both a different kind of pain. Both

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