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The reason…the lesson…the truth…

The pain happened...There's no denying that...There's no making that pain disappear...The road to healing has been a painfully tough journey...The only way to get around the pain is finding and appreciating the value in the lesson it provided. EVERYTHING happens for a reason.People are shuffled around in and out of your life for a reason...always for good reason.When you find

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Healthy Narcissism within Self….

Finding my own sense of Healthy Narcissism within myself was actually what saved me from the Narcissistically abusive situation I had gotten myself involved in.We all need a dose of healthy Narcissism within self to protect ourselves. Narcissism is a spectrum...Healthy Narcissism...to unhealthy Narcissism...to NPD to Psychopath.I have experienced almost the whole spectrum in relationships.I will stop at NPD.And they

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You are your own Super glue….

You can be ANYBODY you want to be but you cannot be who you once were....You cannot go back to where, what or who you once were.You cannot go back to your past no matter how much you romanticize it...whether it's your youth, people, places, things, relationships etc.EVERYTHING good, bad or ugly happens for a reason.EVERYONE you meet serves a

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How do we love….

We love in the same way we want to be loved.If you observe how your partner loves...you can tell how he or she wants to be loved.A smart partner will observe, learn and deliver.The '5 Languages of Love' is  a general guide of how your partner feels loved.The rest is up to you to figure out.A practical person will relate

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It’s not Personal….

People do what they do in the way they know how to do it, based on who they are and the information that is available to them from their own experiences. Even our beloved Narcissists, our regular garden variety arseholes, liars, cheaters and adulterers...do what they have experienced...they do what they know.They interact in the ONLY way they know how...that

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Great Expectations….

We ALL have expectations...from our family members, kids, friends, colleagues, employers, employees, pets etc.EVERYONE that we have a relationship with...we have expectations from them...and vice versa.I expect my dog to not shit on my carpet... because I trained him...those are my expectations.My dog expects me to feed him...because he trained me...those are his expectations of me.We have expectations from EVERYONE

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Self sabotaging behaviors…

We ALL come with self sabotaging behaviors that we have learned from our families, past relationships, for self preservation...etc.Some are more harmful than others. The epiphanies you have after being a part of a challenging Narcissistic relationship is well worth the horrific experience.It is a painful, foundation shattering experience...that I will absolutely NEVER repeat.Being dragged through broken glass is a

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Apologizing and Forgiveness….

You know a person has really changed when you get voluntary accountability...because they know their words are worthless at this point. Have you ever asked a toddler to say I'm sorry to another toddler?THAT is a meaningless apology...because they turn around and do the same thing again. Adults also behave in the same way. The Elements of a Good Apology...Say

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Learn…discern…rinse… repeat…

People who have been hurt find it very difficult to commit.For good reason.Once bitten twice shy.Unless they work on their pain and trauma and get rid of the baggage...without dropping it on to some one else's lap...it's going to reappear...its not going to disappear just because you want it to.It's takes a lot of effort and courage to heal.A hurt

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