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Red Flags…

The most difficult part of my healing process was to forgive myself for not leaving despite the many red flags...BIG red banners.The longer we stay in these types of relationships the longer and harder the recovery.The deeper the wound the longer the healing process.In the first month I experienced a very disturbing 'first' red flag...the man was stuck in a

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Peace of Mind… Priceless!

Survival on bare essentials with no emotional needs fulfilled and with no opportunity to voice out needs.THAT was my childhood (and maybe the childhood experience of many others from my culture and my generation)My only basic requirement even at 5 was peace of mind and safety.It was a tough commodity to come by with 6 adults living in a one

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Players… Overconfident or Insecure….

Male or female...People who play around with people's hearts and lives...don't do it because they are 'something' special...they do it because of very deep insecurities within themselves.Insecurities that they might not even know exists...because it is serving a purpose.Such people use looks, charm, money, power, comedy etc in lieu of real character traits like loyalty, dependability, commitment, honestly, integrity etc.Who

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The Simple Truth….

When dealing with a narcissist the person who they initially portrayed themselves to be did not really exist.It was mostly all YOU. We love to see ourselves in others...we love in others what we love in ourselves.They project and mirror YOU to you...that's why you are so taken up by it.Because you fell for you.They are very perceptive and attentive

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Home Alone…or Never Alone….

I was always afraid of being alone and most things.I inherited that fear from both parents and perhaps they did from theirs. They lived in fear of life around them.All my life I attached myself to people...so I never really felt it...but that became a reality when I got divorced...I was alone.So again...I attached myself to someone...who was going to

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Collateral Damage…mental garbage.

By definition...Collateral damage is any injury, or other damage inflicted that is an incidental result of an activity.We learn through our life experiences...we collect them along the way...like any other youngen I too came with none.I met my first husband at 18...he was 30.He was older and hence 'stable'...I value stability...so...I married him.I later found out stability was not one

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The Finish Line…

My life has been like a relay race...Ready...set...GO!!!And we took off.My other team members kept dropping the baton and I kept urging them to RUN...just pick it up and RUN!!!Now...I look around...I'm on the last leg of the race...I am the one with the baton in my hand with no one else left to cheer me on...or drop the baton...but

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People can ONLY do what they already know….

If you have to Google people's dysfunctional behaviors for them to make sense...you better be prepared to unravel, dissect and do an autopsy of your WHOLE life of dysfunctional relationships, family, friends...with YOU being the STAR participant.Narcissism does not occur in a vacuum...it requires participants...YOU are that participant.Narcissism is a dysfunctional defense mechanism.Just like you may be an overly nice/nurturing/kind/over

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The Boogie Man…

A Narcissist will make ALL your nightmares come true...Remember being scared of the boogie man under your bed...those were all your fears.The Narcissist in your future will bring ALL your fears to life...in full living color. They will make you live in your fears. Every day is a little more of a living hell.And you think you are stuck in

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I did it my way….

How does one know how to deal and heal from emotional abuse.And no that wasn't included in the training manual.I gratefully learned...later...my situation was not much different from anyone else who has been through such an experience.I knew from first response...I was not going to get any support.Most people would have no concept of emotional abuse... myself included...until it happened

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