Living My New Reality
Theirs versus Yours....Emotionally abusive people have a hat full of abuse tactics in their arsenal like love bombing, devaluing, discarding, gaslighting, demeaning, lying, cheating, triangulation, word chutney etc to manipulate and confuse the shit out of you...until you are emotionally spinning out of control.THAT'S their mission...it makes it much easier for them to continue to abuse someone who is already
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Healing does not mean you won't meet another arsehole again...Healing means you have enough knowledge from your past experiences and proper boundaries set in place to remove yourself from these arsehole type situations without it causing you added emotional carnage.Healing makes it possible to handle situations logically without letting your emotions get out of control. Healing means you are aware
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Daniel a 23 year old entertainer with a mouth full of braces recognizes me as Pola and remembers I love to dance...from my last trip here.Fabiola a server also recognizes me and says to me...'welcome home'...and remembers I love mimosas and tea...with 2 Lipton tea bags.I feel at home...I do...Fabiola made me feel at home.How special it that!I walk on
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To do or not to do...That's a God job...Christianity shove forgiveness down our throat.Is there a real purpose...or is it a blanket requirement.Do we have to forgive people who have intentionally maliciously caused us harm.Do we have to forgive repeat offenders.That's a God job...They have done the same with others before you and are doing the same thing to the
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Yelling....poor communication.It's a learned pattern from your upbringing.Yelling is not a means of communication...When you yell...it's only a matter of time when the other person starts to yell back too...to be heard.Yelling is a cry for help...whether it's from you or the other...It's a 'LISTEN TO ME' cry for help.Yelling is not an effective way of communicating...It's a learned pattern
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Do you need an entourage of people around you who are validating your behaviors and decisions...because you can't make your own decisions...Do they co-sign your bad decisions...Do they applaud your bad behaviors and encourage you...Those are NOT your friends...Those are people who do NOT care for your well-being.When you fall...because of your bad decisions...they will drop you like a pair
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By definition...Extreme foolishness or irrationality.There is a fine line between sanity and insanity....I know...I was pushed to that edge...Close enough to recognize the insanity in myself and in others...But that is the definition of a narcissistic relationship...insanity.Cognitive dissonance is the basis of this relationship...what you see and what you are told or what you tell yourself are 2 different realities...2
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You have not walked in my shoes...Get over it...move on...why is it taking so long...are all insensitive words to someone who is healing from betrayal/abuse/grief/death.'It takes 2 to tango' is not a viable justification to someone who has been through emotional abuse... because it ONLY takes ONE to be abusive.The same with grief ...'he is in a better place'...'he's not
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Lust or sex is not the most important ingredient in a relationship.Respect, honor, priority and support are the ingredients that make a relationship work.You can feel lust or have sex with a lot of people.The foundational basis of love is respect, honor and support.You may love as you always love... your love maybe genuine.They too will love you like they
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Emotionally unavailable, avoidant, dismissive, commitment phobic men...(or women)What does that look like...1. No accountability...EVER...and absolutely no commitment.Unable to commit to any future plans...including tomorrows lunch.2. Not only dwelling on exes but still making them relevant, present and more important than their present partner.3. Lack of focus on you or the relationship, moody and constantly anxious and unable to explain the
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