Apologizing to someone is admitting to fault.
First…taking responsibility for your actions is required. That takes a lot of courage and a person of integrity to apologize…correctly.
Not many can do it…let alone do it meaningfully.
So is Forgiveness a necessary part of healing?
Forgiving one’s own self is necessary for peace of mind and your own healing…but forgiving the other is not really necessary for you own peace of mind or healing…specially if they do not take responsibility for the harm they caused.
The degree of the harm caused will predict the degree and the need for forgiveness.
Time does not dictate forgiveness.
You cannot disappear from a person’s life and expect forgiveness 5 years later with no effort on your part. Forgiveness is not responsive to time lapse…forgetting is.
Did they honor you or your feelings when they caused you harm?
Hummmm…NO.
So do they then deserve the honor of your forgiveness?
Hummm…probably NOT…only YOU get to decide this.
‘I don’t know what I did…but I’m sorry’ is not an apology…
‘You expecting me to apologize is a narcissistic trait’…
No, THAT’S a gaslighting technique to deflect…
It’s also a bullshit narcissistic technique to put you in a defense stance…cause now we gonna talk about me and not you!
No accountability and no remorse is a dangerous combination. It gives the person free range of walking ALL over people’s lives with absolutely no repercussions.
Forgiveness like trust has to be earned.
Forgiveness is for those who truly deserve to be forgiven.
Arrogance doesn’t deserve forgiveness.
Forgive yourself for wasting time on such people.
Not everyone deserves your forgiveness.
Somethings cannot be undone or unseen or unsaid.
Forgiveness is an inside job…for yourself…
May you find the courage to forgive ALL those who deserve it and forget the ones that don’t.
