I will share some of the impact of Narcissism that will show up in your body…that you might not be aware of.
As with all my posts…
This is from my own experiences and validated by shared experiences from other emotional abuse survivors on Narcissistic Support Forums.
I thought I was on my own in this experience…I wasn’t!
After the first month with the Narcissist I found my anxiety levels heightened when I was around him…the preliminary games had already begun.
I was very accustomed to living in some form of discomfort or another…it was ‘normal’ for me.
I had lived like that all my life.
It started with me losing weight…I had lost 15 lbs in the first 6 months and another 15 lbs in the next 6 months.
I was finding it difficult to eat…ANYONE and EVERYONE who knows me…knows I love my tummy.
I had trouble ingesting food…
Next I started getting a strange skin disorder…I had dark spots like little burns forming all over my body.
When I went to a dermatologist he told me I had developed an autoimmune condition that has no real reason or solution except to try a very harsh dose of antibiotics for a month…to see if it that works…it didn’t.
The next solution was to try a round of drugs that could destroy my kidney functions.
I choose not to take it…thankfully so.
My hair was falling out in bunches and I felt as if I was living in a nightmare that I kept looping around…he repeated the abuse cycles over and over…
After I found him sexting some woman begging her to ride him…I started projectile vomiting every morning for over a year…
Why didn’t I leave…
In my present mind…I can’t even imagine the state of mind I had to be in to stay around this kind of person…
I understand it now…
As soon as I was removed from that situation…the fog lifted and I started thinking clearly.
It is easier to comprehend once you have woken up from that nightmare but when in the throes of the cycles of abuse there isn’t much lucid thinking going on.
Emotional abuse is not continuous…there are spinkles of good times in between…and there’s denial and smoke and mirrors installed strategically EVERYWHERE.
Those sprinkles are sprinkled for a purpose…to keep you ‘involved’…and emotionally spinning out of control.
First your mind stops participating…then the mind triggers the body to not cooperate…
You are living in survival mode…continually.
That’s the equivalent of living in the lions den anticipating an attack…constantly!
We tend to ignore the discomfort of the mind… but the discomfort of the body is harder to ignore…
By the time your body has a reaction…it’s already too late.
These type of adverse physical reactions are from severe adrenal fatigue.
Your body does not want to participate anymore.
Survival mode exists to protect us…when required.
Humans are not made to exist in survival mode continuously without long term repercussions.
I consider myself lucky to have gotten out when I did…
Some people have had worse repercussions from this type of psychological abuse…cancers, suicide and chronic health problems.
It took me over 3 years to reverse the damage caused by this experience.
On my way to his house each time my hair stood on end on my whole body…and I ignored it…that’s fear making itself known…loud and clear!
Pay attention to how your body reacts to people and circumstances…
Your body will let you know…
Certain people in certain foul vibrations will eat up your soul…
These people have the spirit of jealousy in them…and they are trying to destroy your glorious spirit…
They want what you have…and will try to destroy it because they can’t have it…
You can’t take what’s not yours…you can try though!
The spirit of jealousy can only destroy…whether it’s from a friend, spouse, parent, siblings, neighbors…
It ONLY destroys…
A break-up from a narcissist is not a ‘normal’ break-up because of the psychological effects on your psyche from the underhanded abuse.
If you slap someone…they can see the slap coming…
You can NEVER anticipate that a person who claims to love you is trying to destroy you by trying to fuck with your mind…
The good news…
This is not about the Narcissist…this is about YOU!
The experience with the Narcissist is interchangeable…if it’s not one it’s another…so the actual person does not even matter.
You will find this kind of spirit in many forms in different people.
YOU have to learn to protect yourself from such entities…with very firm boundaries.
Pay attention to your physical reactions to people places and things…
Your intuition senses danger before your eyes sees it…
Many lessons will be learned through this experience with a Narcissist…they differ depending on your core wounds.
But the MOST important lesson from this experience…if you get NOTHING out of it…
When people show you who they are the first time…believe them…you don’t wait around to ‘fix’ them.
And THAT is just the tip of your learning iceberg…
