Sometimes, bad stuff happens for you to recognize and appreciate the good.
‘I led a pretty charmed life’
I was determined to make it charmed…
It wasn’t at all charmed…
But I pretended it was…because I wanted it to be that.
I think we ALL do that to some extent.
We can tend to ignore reality and pretend EVERYTHING is ‘good.’
I know I did….
I made EVERYONE around me think I led a charmed life…including myself.
It wasn’t…
And this was long before social media…
Now…we can portray stuff that isn’t true…with pictures.
My childhood was tumultuous to say the least…
But no one knew…
Not even me…Did EVERYONE live like this?
I wasn’t sure…
But I was ashamed and embarrassed of it…what if others did not live like this.
I couldn’t ask anyone…
I survived…we ALL did.
And THAT maybe the reason why I’m a survivor…The Good.
I continued to pretend through my adulthood…because I so wanted it to be a certain way…and it wasn’t.
And it all came back to bite me in my arse…The Bad.
Fake it till you make it wasn’t working for me anymore…
Now I was just faking it and I wasn’t making it.
I got entangled with abusive people…The Ugly.
Family, friends and intimate relationships…
I had accommodated people’s bad behaviors around me to my detriment…for so long…I had forgotten myself…I had forgotten who I am…
I couldn’t tell the difference between the good the bad or the ugly!
The last energy vampire I interacted with…also did not know who I am.
He did’nt even know my full name.
I was making myself small to accommodate his smallness…now he was treating me like I did not matter…to make himself seem bigger.
Narcissists ONLY pay attention to you in the beginning to see if you have the qualities that they can abuse…then it’s off to the races.
Rude awakening ALL round.
Abuse is not always as we think it is…
No emotional support is abuse by negligence…
Abandoning emotional guidance of kids that YOU chose to bring into this world because you are too involved in your own adult issues that you have created yourself…is abuse by negligence.
Letting your kids free fall in fear…is abuse by negligence…
Abandoning emotional support and dismissing your partners needs to prioritize your own…is abuse by negligence.
If you can’t manage to fully show up for another person in your life…it’s abuse by negligence.
You get my drift…
Fast forward…to present day…back to recognizing the Good…
Now I can also recognize the Bad and the Ugly…that is still around me…but I don’t entangle myself with them.
And now I create my own Good…and I can write about the Bad and the Ugly…because I’ve been there.
Pretty awesome outcome.
Find people who will pray for and with you…not prey on you.
The Good the Bad and the Ugly…it’s not always as it seems.
