Suppressing emotions over a lifetime turns our minds into a toxic self imprisonment.
This behavior is perpetuated in relationships.
People who are unable to feel, express or convey their emotions will suppress them out of necessity, fear of expression or habit for self preservation.
This may be a learned behavior as a child…usually with parents who feel and speak for the child or shut them down.
Some parents overcoddle to protect the child…both are a disservice to the child.
They were not allowed to have or to express their own emotions…so they never learned how to balance their own emotions…or even feel them…or express them….so they fester into toxic suppressed energy over time.
We all surpress emotions to protect ourselves from hurt or being vulnerable.
Hopefully we learn to balance out emotions by actually feeling them, expressing them, crying them out, or rechanneling them with some creative or active outlet to release them.
Suppressing our emotions has the opposite effect of healing.
Emotions…positive or negative have to have an outlet.
People who have chronically suppressed emotions as a learned childhood habit to protect and hide their vulnerabilities and insecurities will manipulate people’s emotions to accommodate their own toxic need.
They would rather hurt people’s feelings and betray people’s trust to protect their own vulnerabilities…so they don’t have to feel ‘hurt’ themselves.
In ‘relationships’ these are the kind of people who will toggle in and out to balance their own emotional confusion.
When they feel they ‘love’ you…they will come back…when they think they can’t manage that they will leave…when they feel they ‘miss’ you…they will be back…and then leave when they can’t manage that…and go to another person to stabilize their emotions…and so on and so forth.
It’s like a merry go round… jonesing for something…they are not sure what…but they will keep searching for it.
They will leave you as confused as they are.
You will find these kind of entanglements very immature and childish…because they are actually a child looking for a parent to soothe their frustration.
They are looking for other people to balance their emotions and feel their emotions like their parent did.
This way they can keep their emotions suppressed and protected while disrupting EVERYONE else’s flora and fauna.
They feel a sense of ‘balance’ in doing this and that’s all that matters…to them.
That makes sense to them because that is the only way they feel they can ‘stabilize’ their emotions…through other people feeling their emotions for them.
This is the only way they know how to function and it brings them a sense of relief…a temporary fix.
Most people operate in this way subconsciously. It is a coping mechanism to survive pain.
Narcissists notoriously use this technique to control relationships…they feel if they can control someone’s emotions…they have control over the ‘relationship’.
Suppressing positive emotions from your partner keeps them in a painful tail spin.
They will gladly dump all their own suppressed emotional baggage onto you to take on as your own…so they don’t have to deal with it themselves.
It’s a tried and true method for them…because it works.
Narcissists live their life in a toxic self imprisonment…and try to drag you into their Hell to make you feel as they are feeling. They are looking for their parent to soothe their frustrations.
It is the only way they know to survive.
