By definition…
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which one person makes another person doubt his or her perceptions, experiences, memories, or understanding of events that happened.
Pay attention to people who have to convince you of their character…
I’m a good guy…
You can trust me…
I would never cheat on you…
You can feel safe with me…
People don’t have to tell, upsell or convince you of their good character…it is shown through their behaviors.
People who have authentic intensions won’t try to manipulate who they are with words…they will show you who they are through their actions.
Do they act inappropriately and then tell you what and how you need to feel.
You are too sensitive…I didn’t say that…You made me do it…You are confused…You are damaged…You are crazy…You are jealous…You are imagining things…I would never do that…Why are you doing this to me…Are you calling me a liar…
Are examples of gas lighting techniques to not take accountability for their actions by changing the focus from them onto you.
Gaslighting is a way of making you doubt your own reality which puts you in the defensive position.
We tend to believe people’s words more than their behaviors.
Don’t confuse what you see or know or what you are feeling with what they tell you should feel.
You already know what YOU feel…
Your feelings are YOUR best indicator of your reality.
Go with YOUR feelings.
I’m a good guy you can trust me…is what a used car salesman uses before he sells you a lemon.
You wouldn’t believe them then…so why would you believe them when it comes to protecting the sacredness that is yourself and your sanity.
Trust your feelings…
PS…
I am obviously not qualified to diagnose others but I am qualified to diagnose my own experience…I am well aware of what I experienced.
NPD is a text book disorder…it means that they all use the same dysfunctional behaviors and dialogues.
So imagine my shock during my research phase when 1000s of survivors reported not only the same dialogues but also the same behaviors as I had experienced.
Not only was it shocking…it was validating.
