Life is tricky…Experiences will be repeated till it registers and then some will still be repeated.
Unknowingly…we make other people in charge of our sanity…
Unknowingly…we give away our power to others by being too trusting.
I had given away too much of my power…so much so that he used that against me to ‘try’ to destroy my stability…by tearing at my vulnerabilities that I had left open to him.
‘Trying’ to do something does not guarantee success…specially if it comes with bad intentions.
No bueno!
It is very ok to be vulnerable…and trusting.
In fact it is a requirement to be open and vulnerable in a relationship for it to be successful.
Relationships don’t survive without trust.
You should be able to trust someone enough to be vulnerable with them knowing that they will not destroy that trust by manipulation of your vulnerabilities.
What was not ok is that I opened up and put my trust in the wrong type of person.
I didn’t use my discernment well.
All are not privy to me…
All are not deserving of me…
It’s MY job to make that discernment.
So…will a similar experience still present itself again…sure it can.
But this time I’m aware enough to respond differently and effectively…I am aware enough to stop it before it becomes a detrimental disturbance in my life.
It’s already an experience in my memory bank that I can draw from.
The experience may be the same but the disruptive outcome need not.
Yes…there are awful people out there that will take advantage of your vulnerabilities…given the opportunity.
But there are a lot more good people out there than bad…find them.
Will I come across the same sort of experience again…sure.
Will I react differently…absofuckinlutely!
You cannot stop how other people behave but you sure as shit can change how you respond.
You learn to remove yourself form unhealthy experiences in a timely manner without creating another deep wound each time…that can reopen and compound all your old wounds.
That old wound is now just a scar…a reminder of that old injury…that old experience.
Let it stay closed.
You cannot place your head in a Lions mouth and trust he won’t bite it off…just because YOU see a Cub when he needs feeding.
A Lion will do what a Lion does!!!
Now it’s very clear to me…there are no 50 Shades of wishy washy grey areas.
Grateful to my ever changing and realistic perspective of this Zoo we live in.
Guide yourself to an open heart…not an open mouth.
